Cheers!

In honor of my roommate's birth, I've decided to write her a small toast that will no doubt embarrass her later and cause her to deny being my roommate when it comes to public settings. I however choose to see this as practice for the day she gets married and I'm called upon to give a toast.

Here's to my dear roommate, Kiki, who 26 years ago today decided to grace the world with her presence. On that fateful day, her dear mother's uterus finally said "scram! get the heck out of here!" and Kristie complied and exited the womb. Twenty years later, a friendship was formed between Keeks and I that soon led to being roommates and creating the Trifecta of Trouble with Stephanie. Fraternity Row will never be the same again because of what ensued during those days. Reenacting the Roaming Gnome commercials in our living room...Stephanie and Kristie having GT time...and many other events too embarrassing to mention here all led to a bond that can never be severed. And here we are today, years later and roommates once again. All is right with world. Now our days are filled with "pammy whammys"...Alias...and getting into so much trouble that our parents wonder why they allowed us to live together once again without some type of supervision. And with that I say Happy Birthday Kristie Thornton! My life is better because of friends like you!

You Want Eyebrow?

Today after church Sarah Welch and I decided to go get manicures and pedicures. Being that Sarah's finally done with her CPA exams, she definitely deserves the reward of a pedicure. And well, I felt like I deserved a manicure just because. We decided to go to this place in Lake Highlands next to LA Fitness. It's actually run by all Asian people...which most nail establishments normally are. In honor of our hour of beauty I've decided compile a list of the awkward moments that happened in that time frame.

1. I arrived about 3 minutes before Sarah and asked if I could get a manicure in one of the chairs so that I could sit next to Sarah and talk. Little Asian lady says "No, sit!" Yes ma'am.

2. Little Asian lady goes to town on my cuticles never saying a word to me. The only time she looks up is to talk to one of her friends in another language. I swear she had to be talking about me and how horrible my nails looked.

3. My manicurist starts singing Mariah Carey and "I Swear" by All 4 One to me. Enough said.

4. After my manicurist dips my hands in hot paraffin wax she proceeds to start rubbing my shoulders...nothing awkward there. Oh wait! Then she puts her hands down my shirt and continues to rub...ugh! Is that considered assault or something?

5. Whenever the little Asian lady finally does look up at me, she just says "you want eyebrow?" I think my eyebrows look just fine, but from the look on her face I'm starting to question them.

Well, those will be the top five awkward moments. The worst part is that I couldn't share in these awkward moments with Sarah because she was clear across the room from me. Sad day.

Naked?

So...this weekend my roommate and I had kind of a weird conversation. While we were at The Cheesecake Factory we started discussing/arguing over how you say the word "naked." After much discussion, we still disagree...however while we were there I decided to write something about it on my facebook status. I must say I have received quite a bit of input from friends, but my friend Stephen made a comment this afternoon that is just too good to keep from the world. Here's what he had to say:

"I'm intrigued by this status and must share with you that I actually have developed my own personal philosophy on the pronunciation of this word. If one is unclothed, but at that time it is appropriate to be unclothed, it should be pronounced "naked." i.e. bathing. If however, one is unclothed and it is inappropriate at that time to be unclothed... Read More, it should be pronounced "nekkid" i.e. streaking. I'll now use both forms in one sentence to demonstrate the difference: "I would have stopped my nekkid neighbor from skinny dipping in my pool sooner, but I was in the shower naked and had to get dressed first." Also, I refer to these two forms as "proper" naked and "naughty" nekkid. p.s. awkward putting this at the end of this post, but haven't talked to you in while, fritzy, how are things?"

I can't decide which part is my favorite. Probably the last sentence when he asks me how I'm doing...just because it is quite the awkward place to ask that.

Thanks Stephen!

Fish Slapped

Do you remember when you were in your junior high youth group? Do you remember the ridiculous skits your youth director and interns would do? When I was in either junior high or high school, I remember my youth director, Taz, doing what I thought was at the time the grossest skit ever. Basically it concluded with him swallowing a couple of live goldfish. Umm yuck! At the time, it felt like Taz would take some of the skits to the extreme, but we of course loved them all. Doing college ministry we never really did anything like that. I guess in college we become too old for that kind of thing....or we like to pretend like we are. Today I decided that Watermark takes the junior high skits to a whole new level. Over the past year and a half I've seen some pretty ridiculous skits. We've had appearances by Ross Boggs (the photographer who takes pictures when you don't know it)...we've had students eat Thanksgiving meals and then spit the chewed up food through a tube...we've had students end up kissing each other through glass...oh and then a personal favorite is seeing David and Bode dress up like girls in pajama pants and camis to announce Winter Chill (disturbing on some many levels). BUT TODAY, we entered a new world of disgusting. Today students threw dead fish across the room using only their mouths. Yes, that's right. Dead fish. My poor roommate fell victim to a trout falling into her lap and I had one bounce over my head. So gross, but anything for our dear junior high kids.

Uninvited Squatter

Over the past 24 hours I've had quite a bit of "excitement" in my world. Most of it falls under the category of "I have to put it in quotes simply because it's not the type of excitement anyone enjoys," but one story is deserving of being shared with anyone who will listen.

Today I decided to come home for lunch in an effort to save money in the eating out department. Whenever I got home it was pouring down rain and as I walked into the living room I noticed the back door was wide open. Now that's odd! Kristie and I haven't been in the backyard in literally months, and we always keep that door locked. So why in the world is it open right now? At this particular moment I decide to call my roommate and just ask if she forgot to shut the door this morning for some reason. Kristie of course says "no crazy, I haven't been in the backyard in months." Hmm. Now what is a girl to do? I think many would agree that running to a neighbor's house and calling 911 would be a viable option. What did I do? Well, I'll let you guess.

A.) Did just that! Ran to the next door neighbor and called 911 just to be safe.
B.) Told Kristie to stay on the phone with me while I walked through the house and checked all the closets. Also telling her that if I scream to hang up and call 911.
C.) Decide to brave it on my own and look through the house...assuming that I could do anything that Jennifer Garner does in Alias just because I've watched it enough over the past week.
D.) Locked the door and went immediately back to the office, leaving any uninvited guests for my roommate when she gets home.

I mean if you know me at all you can probably guess very easily which one I did. But just to give you a hint, it's actually a mixture of two. Oh and in case you're wondering, there's nothing missing and as far as we can tell, no one was in our house.

When in Spain...

My friend LB sent me this picture telling me I should transfer to Spain. Umm, LOVE TO!